Happy Thanksgiving!! (with a Christmas twist)

Feel Like I'm Falling

By Your Side - Hillsong

THIS IS A CHURCH ON FIRE

There are moments of my life that are so vivid. I can remember the tiniest details of those moments. There are other moments that I should remember better but don't.
There was a point many years ago where our church split. Well, not officially, but around 40% of the people left because the congregation voted to change the name of the church to reach the lost. Bethel Baptist was the old name. The new name became The Church of Rock Run. Did is work? Yeah, I guess it did. People came in the door that wouldn't have otherwise.
After the church voted to change the name, I played this song (I was working the soundboard). It was the true desire of my heart and I really believe at the time the desire of those wishing to change the name that we have a church that was on fire for God.
There have been moments over the last 10 years that I saw God move incredibly. People were getting baptised, lives were changing, hearts were moved. It was a blessing to be part of it, but, as with many things in life, I only see it now in retrospect. I didn't feel it at the time like I thought I would.
I miss it.

The Light of the World

I think that one of the reasons I like Christmas so much is the lights: candles, Christmas lights...I don't care.

Jesus is the light of the world. I think that is the greatest metaphor for Christ. He lights hearts, minds, and Scripture.

Today we are going down to Chicago. We have wanted to go to the light festival down there for at least a decade but either didn't have the time or the money. We still don't, but we're going anyway.

It's probably our last chance to go with the kids as, next year at this time, we will be in a slightly warmer climate. OK, significantly warmer climate.

There is a kind of parade with (of course) Mickey Mouse leading the way. I guess they turn on the lights as he passes. Then there is a big fireworks display over the river and then we are taking the kids to a Chicago classic: Ed Debevic's. If you've never been their, it is great. They use out of work actors to fill the wait staff and they play up the 50's diner slop house staff to the "t".

I love the city. I think I'm gonna miss it. Then I remember King Richard is the dictator/mayor and that I have to pay a 10%(!) tax on everything just for the right to shop in Chicago.

I hate that city. I won't miss it at all. :)

Not much new...

Mom started physical therapy today and I haven't heard how it went.
Thanks for all the prayers for us and our family. We can never say how much it means to us.
More will come soon...

Close Call...almost.

Saturday I got a call from my baby sister, Bethany. She told me my mom was being rushed to the hospital and may have had a stroke.

I almost had one. This has been the 10 days from hell. We lose my cousin, Christi gives herself a 4 stitch hole in her head (don't ask 'cuz we don't know), and now this...

Turns out that she did have one, though it was minor. Her BP was 220/130 at one point. Now she can't drive, has to go thru physical and occupational therapy, and will have to make drastic life changes.

I think it scared her as well. She really is still a little loopy. I think we all are.

Pray for quick healing, if you would. She really struggles during these things.

Thanks.

Time Keeps On...

Tickin', Tickin', Tickin'...into the future.

Two weeks until Thanksgiving.

17 days until I leave.

Time is so...nothing, really. It just is a measure of something that doesn't really exist. Not to get metaphysical or anything. I mean, I can barely spell the word. It's just that it seems to be flying now. I know that it's just in my head, but it still is.

As we have packed up things we've run across a lot of pictures. If I can figure out the scanner, I might post a few. My son, who is almost as tall as me now, was such a happy big-cheeked little guy. Kaitlyn is the drama queen from day one, posing from even her earliest pics. Alaina is a cutie-pie and knows it. Christi is a study in, well, diversity. She now loves her pic being taken.

I used to be thin...I'd forgotten. Rachel is babe-alicious and always has been.

I know I've missed a lot over the last years, but that is the way life goes. We may not have missed too much, but it feels like a lot.

At my sister's wedding last month, my mom got up to dance with my dad after the Father-Daughter reception dance and was weeping. She just realized that now all her babies (yeah, I know, 38,35, and 28 year old babies) were officially grown up and it hit her hard. She just wasn't prepared for the heaviness of the realization setting in.

I know that we all have moments like that and I guess that I am having one as i prepare my mind for the reality that we are leaving all we know except each other. Physically, at least.

I'm the pariah of my family...my mom and sisters are happy for us, but not happy with the decision. My sister even said this weekend at Chris' wake, "So, you're REALLY going aren't you?".

yep.

really.

Peace Shall Come....

We buried Christopher today.

How sad.

There is no grief as raw as a parent that has lost a child. It is a pain without peer.

My Aunt Janice asked me to sing for the funeral today. What to say? Of course.

One of the songs was one I had never heard before written by Bill Gaither in 1976 called, "Peace Shall Come". It poignantly shares the peace of Christ that passes understanding. How can a family move through pain?

My aunt has lived through hell the last two months. In the last two months my uncle has been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, her grandmother passed (expected), her son probably committed suicide, and the day after that her appendix almost burst as she mourned her boy and she had to have emergency surgery the afternoon before her son's wake.

Why?

I don't know.

I know that this world stinks most of the time. Sin has made this life a struggle from the beginning and that isn't going to change until Jesus comes back.

Here are the lyrics to the song. When you think you can't go on... you can. You just need help.

Peace shall come

Quiet as the morn
Bathed in dew

Like a day newborn

Let not your heart be troubled

Never be afraid

For thy God has promised

Through the dark to make a way

Peace shall come

Child lift up your eyes

And behold

Deliverance in the sky

The peace that lives within you

Inherits all the earth

See a dawn is breaking

On a brand new day at birth

Amen and we'll miss you, Chris.

Farewell, Chris...

Christopher Wolkow

Christopher R. Wolkow, 25, of rural Peotone, died suddenly Friday (Nov. 7, 2008) at his home. Visitation will be from 3 p.m. to 8 p.m. Monday at the Fedde-Helfrich-Cross Funeral Home, Peotone, and from 10 a.m. Tuesday at St. John's United Church of Christ, north Peotone, until the 11 a.m. services. The Rev. Bruce Salter will officiate.
Cremation rites will be accorded. Memorials may be made to St. John's United Church of Christ, where he was a member; or to the family wishes.
Mr. Wolkow was a great computer enthusiast. He was born June 29, 1983, in Kankakee, the son of Roger and Janice (Buck) Wolkow. He was a 2001 graduate of Peotone High School. He loved his dog, Terrence, very much.
Surviving are his parents of Peotone; maternal grandmother, Leatrice Buck of Peotone; paternal grandparents, Esther Wolkow Biesterfeld and Elmer Biesterfeld of Grant Park; aunts and uncles, Wayne and Debra Buck of Momence, Lane and Linda Heatherwick of Peotone, Richard and Kathleen Ernst of Manteno, Jeanne Wolkow of Chebanse; and several cousins.
Deceased are his maternal grandfather, Everett Buck; paternal grandfather, Wilbert Wolkow; and one uncle, Wayne Wolkow.


Friday night at 11:30 we got a call from my parents. My 25 year old cousin, Christopher Wolkow, was dead.
It looks as if he took his own life.
There were tons of red flags, but so many of us don't see them until it is too late or only in hindsight. He had major issues with depression, epilepsy, and a multitude of issues from a biological mother he never knew but had saddled him with her addiction to drugs.
He was always more than any of us could handle, but we did love him. His temper was legendary, but we rarely saw it. Unfortunately, others did and may have taken advantage of his forgiving heart.
It seemed that Chris was one of those people that you see them move through their life and they never really connect with this world or the people in it totally. You could occasionally see the "real" Chris in questions that he would ask or in a way he would talk about things. That was not very often.
He and A.J. were pretty tight as they both love video games and wanted to design them. They would end up playing so many games together at holidays as Chris would joyfully show him how to play some games and win ones he was struggling with. Chris' only real outlet was his computer as he couldn't drive because his seizures were so bad.
I'm racked with grief over this loss. I wish he would have reached out to me or Rachel so we could have helped him. With his dad losing his battle with cancer and a court trial about to take place that looked like he would end up incarcerated, he saw no way out. Well, he saw one way and his vision was clouded as to the others. So he left us here in a lot of pain.
I'm not mad about this. Only sad. I think this is a waste. I loved Chris and will miss his laugh and the tender way he would treat Christi.
I'm just speculating, but I think he loved Christi so much and would try to take care of her and play with her at parties was because he related to her. As much as we know and understand Christi, we only know what she shows. She will never connect fully with any of us and Chris, I think, felt that as well. I think as much as we knew him, he never connected with anyone fully. He felt seperate from this world...and now he is.
Goodby, Chris. We'll miss you.

A Christmas Story - Life Truths for Family Life

I LOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVEEEE Christmas movies and in the top three of all time is Ralphie and his family.
Wonderfully, as a parent, so much more has opened up to me about this movie. All the wonderful interactions of Ralphie's mom and dad are so typical of couples that are married for a while. Their comfort level with each other is rightly portrayed as a tension of two individuals in love but incredible aware of each other's failings. Luckily, like most successful marriages, this tension is only broken occasionally by a little comment and even less often a fight.
The beauty of this is the kids being blissfully UNaware of this tension and just being, well, kids. The scene where Ralphie and Randy get socks for Christmas and whip them over their shoulders is SOOOO perfectly normal.
Ya gotta love A Christmas Story. Magically portraying the human condition in America and sealed for time in a movie.

Dude, I'm gonna...

An artist caught the exact moment that Erik heard that Barack had won Ohio...

Finally...or maybe Finale?

Finally this election cycle is over and the press and the Dems are happy. So everything must be right in the world 'cuz the press says it is.

Obama is an incredible speech giver. He may be the best I've ever heard, though Clinton was pretty good.

It reminded me of a caution in Scripture. You see, many people are swayed by someone who communicates or inspires. Frankly, it can lead to terrible consequences when massive egos are encouraged by following of the masses to their cause, movement, church, etc...

We are told to always check what is being said along with the motives of the person that is speaking or trying to move others to some action.

Here's The Messages version:

2 Timothy 4:3 You're going to find that there will be times when people will have no stomach for solid teaching, but will fill up on spiritual junk food—catchy opinions that tickle their fancy. They'll turn their backs on truth and chase mirages. But you—keep your eye on what you're doing; accept the hard times along with the good; keep the Message alive; do a thorough job as God's servant.

I think that many churches today are not following this caution. As a Christ follower, you must test the growth of a church and the cause of it. ie: How many are coming to know Christ that DIDN'T before? How many baptisms are occuring? Are they new converts? or children of members? How many people are involved in leading? A lot or just a few? Who makes the money decisions? Does the teaching reflect the change that people need or the direction the leaders are seeking? Are those that leave degraded either in character or motive by leadership? Is there a lot of turnover? Grow,shrink, grow, shrink, grow? You get the picture.

Obama is a big target right now for Christians, but we have many more planks in front of us like these. It is easy to look past them because they are harder to deal with and remove.

Maybe it is just a case of getting older and getting some perspective, but I think that most growth is personal. We should examine our own growth, but also our churches. If either are stagnant, it might be time for some challenge or change.

Barack Obama, for what it's worth, will not have a huge impact over our lives day-to-day. Our churches have a much bigger impact on our growth than any Presidents or congressperson. Fellow Christians, let's move our eyes a little closer to home. Before we attack Obama, we need to make sure our backyards are pretty well picked up.

Finally, 2012 Election Eve!!!

Well, the next couple hours will prove to make the policy for our country for the next 4 years.

If things go as they did after the last election, it will mark the beginning of the race for president 2012.

I may move to France. At least they know how to drop the politics in the "offseason". We don't get an offseason anymore and I guess that I am partially to blame. With the advent of the 24 hours news cycle with CNN in 1990 has come an outlet for every nut, pol, wack-job, and news freak to get on the air and spread their ideas. I watch these channels so you can blame me.

My friend, Dennis, posted a quote by Ben Franklin that stated that when people realize they can vote themselves money, it will be the end of the republic.

Rest in Peace, freedom. Rest in Peace.

The Beginning of the End...

I despise campaign ads... Especially false ones. We are getting a plethora of them these last days of this abortion of an election. My favorite one is Obama's add with the "tax calculator". For kicks and giggles I decided to try it out. I mean, Obama wouldn't lie about taxes, would he? His add says to find out who's lying by going to HIS tax calculator.

I guess he failed to mention that he will roll back the Bush Tax Cut in 2010 and that will raise EVERYONE'S taxes. Hhmmmm. I'm sure it just slipped his mind.

Taxes aren't my big issue in this election... Abortion is. I have four kids that meant the world to me before they were born. In the womb, we played with them... we'd play push the foot when they'd kick and took great joy in feeling these little ones develop until we could finally hold them.

I'm told that because I'm a man, what I think about abortion doesn't matter. Ok, then I really don't ever want a woman involved in anything that has to do with a man's sexuality. Pornography is OK. Strip clubs are OK. Hooker's are OK. I can gawk at every woman I see. No, shut up, woman. These things have NOTHING to do with you. It's MY body and I can do with it what I want...

Same logical process. Oh, but I didn't kill anything/one in the process.

Barack Obama voted here in Illinois THREE times to allow a baby that survived an abortion to get NO medical help. "Just set IT on the table over there or, better yet, throw IT in the trash. IT's crying? So what? IT will just suffocate or starve to death, just leave IT. Don't hold IT as IT dies or try to comfort IT. IT is just a thing of flesh, not really a baby. IT just looks like a baby, smells like a baby, and cries struggling to live like a baby."

I know that all of Hell is bad, but I pray that there is a special place there for abortionists and polititicians that support this kind of heartless attitudes toward babies. Yeah, a BABY not an IT.

I am quite forlorn over this election. The media is in the tank for this guy and the fact that McCain has even gotten close is a testament to some people's ability to think through the noise the media has created. Unbelievably, McCain has had to spend his advertising money to vet Obama and do the job the media has done to him, Hilary Clinton, and every other candidate OTHER than Obamessiah. People have bought this guy hook line and sinker and don't realize he is a professional illusionist.

What you see is NEVER what you get with Barack Hussein Obama. I know from living in the United Socialist Society Republic of Illinois for my entire life. It's all smoke and mirrors so you don't see what they really are after: nationalized healthcare, repealing the second amendment, liberal judges on the supreme court, taxation without representation, and telling YOU how YOU should live, but those same rules don't apply to them. They are the smartest people in the world and you are just LUCKY that they are ruling over you. Your just to stupid to know any better.

I'm glad I'm moving to Florida. At least there are as many people there that think like me as don't. I can have some impact on an election with my vote. I'm very fearful of the next 4 years. For those of you that scoff at what I've said; I have a question: How many Democratic presidents HAVEN'T raised taxes, increased gun control, championed abortion, and told you how you should live in the last 40 years? I'll make it easy for you. NONE.