Farewell, Chris...

Christopher Wolkow

Christopher R. Wolkow, 25, of rural Peotone, died suddenly Friday (Nov. 7, 2008) at his home. Visitation will be from 3 p.m. to 8 p.m. Monday at the Fedde-Helfrich-Cross Funeral Home, Peotone, and from 10 a.m. Tuesday at St. John's United Church of Christ, north Peotone, until the 11 a.m. services. The Rev. Bruce Salter will officiate.
Cremation rites will be accorded. Memorials may be made to St. John's United Church of Christ, where he was a member; or to the family wishes.
Mr. Wolkow was a great computer enthusiast. He was born June 29, 1983, in Kankakee, the son of Roger and Janice (Buck) Wolkow. He was a 2001 graduate of Peotone High School. He loved his dog, Terrence, very much.
Surviving are his parents of Peotone; maternal grandmother, Leatrice Buck of Peotone; paternal grandparents, Esther Wolkow Biesterfeld and Elmer Biesterfeld of Grant Park; aunts and uncles, Wayne and Debra Buck of Momence, Lane and Linda Heatherwick of Peotone, Richard and Kathleen Ernst of Manteno, Jeanne Wolkow of Chebanse; and several cousins.
Deceased are his maternal grandfather, Everett Buck; paternal grandfather, Wilbert Wolkow; and one uncle, Wayne Wolkow.


Friday night at 11:30 we got a call from my parents. My 25 year old cousin, Christopher Wolkow, was dead.
It looks as if he took his own life.
There were tons of red flags, but so many of us don't see them until it is too late or only in hindsight. He had major issues with depression, epilepsy, and a multitude of issues from a biological mother he never knew but had saddled him with her addiction to drugs.
He was always more than any of us could handle, but we did love him. His temper was legendary, but we rarely saw it. Unfortunately, others did and may have taken advantage of his forgiving heart.
It seemed that Chris was one of those people that you see them move through their life and they never really connect with this world or the people in it totally. You could occasionally see the "real" Chris in questions that he would ask or in a way he would talk about things. That was not very often.
He and A.J. were pretty tight as they both love video games and wanted to design them. They would end up playing so many games together at holidays as Chris would joyfully show him how to play some games and win ones he was struggling with. Chris' only real outlet was his computer as he couldn't drive because his seizures were so bad.
I'm racked with grief over this loss. I wish he would have reached out to me or Rachel so we could have helped him. With his dad losing his battle with cancer and a court trial about to take place that looked like he would end up incarcerated, he saw no way out. Well, he saw one way and his vision was clouded as to the others. So he left us here in a lot of pain.
I'm not mad about this. Only sad. I think this is a waste. I loved Chris and will miss his laugh and the tender way he would treat Christi.
I'm just speculating, but I think he loved Christi so much and would try to take care of her and play with her at parties was because he related to her. As much as we know and understand Christi, we only know what she shows. She will never connect fully with any of us and Chris, I think, felt that as well. I think as much as we knew him, he never connected with anyone fully. He felt seperate from this world...and now he is.
Goodby, Chris. We'll miss you.